is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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