If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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