I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
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