guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
We had sex on a dog bed..
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
