where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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