i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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