yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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