how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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