STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
