Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
