hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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