btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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