i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
