just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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