(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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