i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize