hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
