kristin has been a bad kristin
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
organizing the empties. That sober.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
