Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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