1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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