Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize