I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Randomize
