windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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