Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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