id be glad to
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
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