is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
