It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
