Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
zippers are such a cool invention
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
