dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize