wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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