i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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