The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
