it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
