You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
