I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
