I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
