Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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