in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
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