Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
