That's intense
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
