oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
