It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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