What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Randomize