I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize