OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
