So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
