Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
