i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I feel like abortions should bother me more
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
worst night to have a conscience
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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