he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize