oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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