home. puking in laundry basket.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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