im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
