I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
