thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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