when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
