Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
