Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Randomize
