Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
