At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Randomize
