Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
There's always time for handjobs
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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