no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
The best revenge is premature balding
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
