i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
