Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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