who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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