Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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