he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
